I haven’t posted anything for a long time because I have been working with stuffs of life that makes me busy. I do not consider this blog as a diary but when you try to read it you’ll somehow realize that it has been a diary of some sort where I post anything and everything that I like, want, need and especially what I feel.
But now, here I am again seeking comfort and solace from this blog which has been with me through my ups and downs (including my old blog).
As you all know or you may notice that in my life, the problems that makes me sad are always (but not all the time) related to my love relationships. I always say that I hate loving guys because they always break my heart and that I’ll never love again. But still, here I am loving all over again… Kelan ba ko magsasawa? *sigh*
Last April 21, 2013 was one of the saddest day in my life. I do not know how to start or if I’d really want to share the whole story because it was just too heartbreaking and personal… I felt like I was betrayed a million times or maybe more than that. I felt like I was stabbed straight in my heart that I just can’t stop bleeding. I don’t know what to do when I heard him say those words. I just want to cry and die during that moment. Well, I did cry. I cried a lot like an ocean of tears came out of my eyes. I tried my best to stop crying but I just can’t help it. It hurts so much. I felt like, my love wasn’t enough; like I wasn’t enough for him. I did all my best and gave everything to make him feel loved and special but still, it wasn’t enough; wasn’t enough to make him forget the past. Crying was the only comforting thing to do at that moment and it was my only aid. I want to get mad at him but I can’t, because I love him too much which makes it more painful. Damn love!
Yes! Damn love! But still here I am ready to forgive and love him again. Martyrdom? Hmm not really. I guess I just wanted to try to make things work instead of just giving up so fast. Maybe, I’ll get over this in time and I hope that’ll be soon. Or maybe, there’ll be more fights, more hurting and maybe I’ll break down and then, that’ll be the time that I’ll give up on him… But never in love…
